Today Professor Nellis showed the class the eight most important tasks couples need to accomplish during marriage according to Duvall and Miller. I will relate this list to my friends who just recently got marriage. (For privacy purposes, I will not use their real names.) Lets call them Jack and Jill.
1. Finding, furnishing and settling into their first home. - Jack and Jill decided to rent a basement suite as their first home. They have furnished their place with things that have been given to them at their wedding and/or they have brought from their own individual homes from before they were married. They gradually brought all their belongings to the basement suite before they got married and the day they got back from their honey moon, they settled into their home.
2. Establishing mutually satisfying ways of supporting themselves. - For the most part they have established that Jill stays at home, doing most of the house work: dishes, cleaning, laundry, etc. as well as works part time as a health-care aid. Jack works full time and produces most of their income as a construction worker.
3. Allocating responsibilities each partner is willing and able to assume. - As each has different preferences of responsibilities around the home, Jill assumes most of the household skilled jobs and Jack aids as her help. Jill cooks, cleans, grocery shops, and more. Jack will often come home to 'just chill' after a long day of work, but he does not restrict Jill to doing all the house hold jobs. He is more than willing to help, however Jill must be honest in asking for help. Just as Jill does almost all of the house work, Jack takes care of almost all of the couples finically needs. Jill does work part time to contribute, but Jack works full times and pays the bills, and works out budgeting issues alongside his wife. All in all, Jack and Jill work as a well-rounded team with not too many responsibilities being strictly delegated on only one person.
4. Building foundations for satisfying marital relations. - Their communication is treated as a key component in their relationship and is not neglected. Jack and Jill both admit to being sensitive verbalizers and both find themselves very honest with their feelings and thoughts.
5. Controlling fertility and planning a family. - This topic seems to be the greatest of conversation when talking with Jill. As a couple they have communicated that they want a family in the future, but probably not for the next year or so.
6. Starting a family. - Jack and Jill feel they are not in the best spot financially (still paying off Jill's college loan) and would like to spend time strengthing the foundation of their relationship before bringing other little people into the big picture. Also, Jack and Jill both grew up in families that, at most of the time, included only a single parent. They both agree that they respect the decisions that their parents made while they were younger, however they wish to maintain a solid relationship for their future children so that their children will have a solid model for their future.
7. Interacting with relatives on both sides of their family. - Jack and Jill share a faith in God that most of their family members do not. This brings some division in the amount that they speak with their brothers and sisters, but there is a high level respect found in conversation about and when talking with them.
8. Maintaining couple motivation and morale. - Because of Jack and Jill’s relationship with God, they both have the very similar morals in life and have both voiced their values and opinions on issues openly. Their relationship is growing to be a strong bond filled with faith and love. It is expected to weather all storms of life as long as they remain faithful in their commitments to God and each other.
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